The New Mexico Family Law System Inflicts...                       The living Bereavement The death of a child is without doubt one of the most incredibly horrible tragedies anyone could imagine. Whether by accidental circumstance, or by illness, the pain caused by this type of loss is undeniably the most painful experience any parent could ever go through. And, this pain affects not only the parents, but the entire family, and even friends whose live's the child has touched. Never again knowing the laughter, the joys, the accomplishments, or even being able to wipe the tears, or comfort the sadness your child will experience is a pain no parent should ever have to endure. But, ultimately, a parent has no control over life and death, so even though any parent would be willing to give his or her own life to save their child, sometimes this cruelest of life’s blows is still dealt. But now, imagine the same pain, the same overwhelming sense of loss, the same inconsolable bereavement, with one exception - the child is very much alive. This is called Parental Alienation Syndrome. The emotional, psychological, and physical effects on a parent who has been the victim of PAS, are very similar to those of a parent experiencing the loss of a child due to accident or illness. Except, for the parent who has been the victim of PAS, there is no finality from which to finally accept the loss, and thus be able to heal and continue on with life. In essence, by being unable to accept a permanent separation with a child that has been imposed, not by a natural destiny to which we all must yield, but by a family law system that has imposed that loss based on bias, lies and incomprehensible cruelty, the parent is subjected to a “living bereavement” and is forever chained to the past. There should be no misunderstanding here. I am not saying that I nor any parent would prefer the finality of death over a child living a long happy life even if it is separated from a PAS victim parent. No, I am simply speaking in terms of the emotional and psychological effects on those parents who are victims of PAS, and questioning why they must be subjected to this emotional and psychological agony in the first place. And, what is it like to experience this living bereavement? Imagine the thoughts of what your child is doing, how she is feeling, what she is thinking, whether she misses you or even remembers you, constantly, day after day, running through your mind. And, at night when you sleep, if you can sleep, the same nightmares over and over again - your child being taken away by evil people but you are chained down and can do nothing about it. There is this constant horrible sense of tragedy, a feeling that the final order from the court permanently barring you from your child is just one lie, and one family court hearing away, but you are powerless to do anything about it. Your resources, thoughts, and efforts are constantly focused on working to try and find a solution to a problem that is essentially, the family law equivalent of the unsolvable riddles that exist in mathematics - fighting a charge or an allegation that, though never based on fact or evidence in the first place, has been given validity in family court. How do you fight that? Fighting a lie that is given weight without evidence is like trying to grasp the wind with your hand. And ultimately, though it is not the PAS victim parent’s fault, there is the constant self-reproach. You question yourself. You blame yourself for the loss. You ask yourself if there was or is something more you could or should have done. The very sad part of this aspect of PAS is that, in essence, you join your enemies in this family law system carrying out attacks on your spirit. There are most likely many parents, mostly fathers like myself, tortured by this sense of guilt over the loss of their children when in reality, the guilt actually lies in the hands of an ex spouse who has lied to remove the other parent from the child’s life, and with a family law system that has aided and abetted in the commission of this crime. Please help to stop this insidious form of child abuse, and parent abuse. Call your local, state, and US government officials and tell them that you will not stand by and allow this grievous injustice to continue.  John Alvarez Albuquerque, New Mexico    For more info on these types of tactics used in custody issues, type "Parental Alienation Syndrome" into any major web search engine.

Father's Day 2005 The Court Order that gave me this special day with my daughter was ignored on the whim of her mother.  Why?  No reason, simply because she knew it would be a way to hurt me.  Yet, was there any consideration of a little girl's time with her father,  was there any consideration of our child's "best interest" being truly served by having contact with both her parents, and was there any consequences for her mom ignoring the court order? The answer to all of these questions is NO. In case after documented case in New Mexico, when a vindictive ex decides to keep the child from the father, the New Mexico Family Law System willingly facilitates this for, I believe, many reasons - MONEY, GENDER-BIAS, OR OFFICIALS CONVENIENTLY ALLEVIATING THEIR BURDEN OF DOUBT CONCERNING AN ALLEGATION, AT THE EXPENSE OF A FATHER'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CHILD. But, whatever the reason, the end result is always the same - a child and a father being denied their God-given right to have a relationship with each other. Study the family court cases in NM yourself to confirm this. When visitation orders are not followed by the mother (see above) it is ignored by family court. Yet, when a father does not (or simply cannot) follow any order from family court, or more so a child support order, family court throws him in jail. My daughter's time with me, her father, a great father, is not even a concern of the court, or of the many New Mexico officials I have contacted. WHY?  My vindictive ex is only concerned with revenge, the New Mexico Family Court System is only concerned with maintaining the bias against fathers, and obviously, her mother and the court have together decided to keep me out of my daughters life. So then, who is the one that is around her now that is really looking out for what is best for an innocent now 8 year old little girl?  This picture of me protesting in front of the Capitol building in Santa Fe on Father's Day 2005 is after my daughter and I missed this day with each other for no reason other than her mother wanting it that way.